A tale of colourful horror

30 Mar 2013

Imagine you are a tiny insect, something like that fly on the wall you’ve always wanted to be. Then start flying around in the Assiniboine Conservatory, after you have seen enough of that juicy situation you had imagined. You will end up in the Manitoba Orchid Society’s annual orchid show.

Orchid

Instead of becoming your old self again, still chuckling over that juicy situation you just witnessed on the wall, you remain in fly-form. And here is what you see at the orchid show. For a fly, even if these plants are harmless, they all look as if they want your wings! As well as some other parts of your anatomy…

You will encounter traps and hungry mouths to get you. And only you. The sudden feeling of fear comes over you and engulfs you completely. Now is the time to pay for that spying on the wall!

OrchidOrchid

You feel thirsty, so a flower with some water might be the best thing to find. the Conservatory does not cater to flies specifically. The above orchid seems a good place to start. But the “flap” over the water reservoir could close on you within seconds. Mostly before you can see that it is too late to get out.

OrchidOrchid

So you move on. Another flower seems to propose you some water and has no flap above it to lock you up. Slowly you circle around it and imagine that those fluffy walls around the water could just as well close in on you. Better stay thirsty a little longer.

The lead picture of this post seems like a hungry face too, so stay away from there.

OrchidOrchid

Let’s try that reddish one, no flaps, no fluffy sides. That might do the trick. But then again, the opening seems a bit small, way too small for comfort. Once in there, it will be very quick to close it and entrap you.

OrchidOrchid

By now you are really thirsty and you really want to drink something. All those flowers with water in them are out of the question. So what’s next? Imitate the bees and get some nectar? Good idea! But for that you will need to go deep into the flower, provided it is dry in there.

OrchidOrchid

This looks like a good idea. Except for one thing. All the other flowers look like hungry mouths. Ready to crunch everything that comes too close. You start to think that being a fly to listen on walls is not such a hot idea after all.

OrchidOrchid

All these flowers not just seem dangerous, they are sheer horror. Even Mr. Poe couldn’t have done better than this. By now your time being a fly is up and you may return to your old habitual form of a human being. Being a fly finally turned into a horror show of epic proportions. At least for a fly-sized human.

OrchidOrchid

Now you can enjoy the colours and the forms of all the orchids in the Assiniboine Park Conservatory. Those colours are simply magnificent. The forms these wild flowers take are totally out of this world. No horror in sight anymore.

OrchidOrchid

The intricate details these plants develop for their own secret reasons are simply amazing. Look at the hairy “limbs” of the above flower. Not a fly or any other predator would want to sit there. The flower is then safe.

OrchidOrchid

As for the water in the “cups” of these plants? Well, mostly it is just water. Perhaps with some extra ingredient in there, but nothing is designed to trap flies or other insects. At least not the ones presented here.

OrchidOrchid

Orchids in the wild may have developed tactics for supplementing their poor diet with some meat juice, that is possible. I didn’t see any of those at the exhibition, though. But then again, I am no expert.

Just try to think about being a fly on the wall before you go to sleep. Then add the orchids to the mix and have sweet dreams!